A friend was talking on the phone, he talked with his girlfriend and they were planning on what christmas present they should give to his parents. They start to figure what his parents might need and this is what I think.
His parents can afford a lot more then he and his girlfriend (both being students), hence there can't exist such a present that his parents want but can't afford while they can. This means that they were talking on the phone about buying a present such that his parents would need it, but yet not have it, and must be within reasonable price for a student, which in a family with both parents working full time is equivalent to low price.
One sees easily that those are impossible constraints. To make it clear let look at it in detail; you think your parents want X and it would be nice present, then why don't they already have it if they want it?
Can't they afford it? In my friends case the answer is they can.
Then why don't they have it? They didn't think about it? If you are out of coffee, you might not think about it until you want some coffee of which there is none, and then you go and buy some coffee, and if your parents don't own X it's because they don't need it, no matter what they say when they receive it.
Then there is the rare case when you know that there is something let say your parents need and want but can't get on their own, it must come from you, isn't it then very bad of you to sit on that gift and don't give it to your loved ones for several week or even months, let them wait for it, in other words withhold something they need?
Lets take an example, one person torture another by simulating drowning, that is withholding something you need, namely air, by putting your head under water, certainly when he pulls you out you will be very happy for that air, but the person that could give it to you all along but didn't for several second is still not very nice to you.
Yet every year people try to do the same mistake, try to think about something useful to buy to their loved ones and thus missing the point. Useful presents are good when there is a need for them for example if your computer broke it would be very nice if someone bought you another next day, just because they can, but if they can do it next day but chose to wait until christmas or birthday it is no longer an honest present, instead it is a way for them to save money so that they don't have to buy two present, or make it easier for them selves by not having to think about what to give as a present on christmas or birthday. This shows the priority, namely that easier or cheaper for me is much more important then bringing joy to you, which in other words means “wouldn't give you anything at all but I have to”, which raises a thought why do you have to? If it is you parents then maybe one can feel obligated to give some present even though they are not really important anymore, but if it is your boyfriend/husband or girlfriend/wife that does it mean then?
Majority of people try to buy useful presents for christmas or birthday, now it isn't necessary because they don't care about the person they are giving it to, people just don't think about what they are doing, but it's a bad practice which in my opinion should be changed.
What is then a good gift? Well in everyday life a practical gift as in example above with broken computer is really in order, which shows that you are there for that person when he or she need you, and not that you are there for them only when you are obligated by cultural reason to do something.
For situations where a gift is expected, such as birthdays and christmas one must remember that those occasions have a sole purpose to show love and appreciation for a person or a group of persons, and what you give should do just that, while knowing what that person or persons need and wait until the occasion to give them that shows exactly the opposite.
I admit that I haven't thought about this until few weeks back and thus far I did as everyone else, tried to buy useful gifts, mainly because I couldn't come up with gifts that would make that person happy so I figured at least they will use it, but now I feel that it is no longer possible, and there is a very important birthday coming up.
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