1. Appreciate Life
Be thankful that you woke up alive each morning. Develop a childlike sense of wonder towards life. Focus on the beauty of every living thing. Make the most of each day. Don’t take anything for granted. Don’t sweat the small stuff.
Obviously happy people appreciate life, but if you are a miserable bastard you can not start appreciating life to be happy, because that is what it means when you are not happy, you don't see you in every day things. That is life seems great because you are happy, and there is no way you go about it backwards by making your self feel that things in life are great. That is if you try to be thankful that you woke up alive today and not a zombie, try to see the beauty of living things e.t.c. you simulate some aspects of being happy, and if you manage enough of them perhaps it will even seem like you are happy but you still doing it backwards i.e. simulating happiness instead of being happy. As the result it will require great deal of effort to seem happy, and sooner or later you get tiered of it feeling that all those years you'v been miserable playing the act of happiness for other people because they like you more when you are happy.
And let say you can make your self feel those things, if you can control your feelings to such extent, why not then just make your self feel happy, and all those other things like being grateful for not waking up dead will come naturally.
2. Choose Friends Wisely
Surround yourself with happy, positive people who share your values and goals. Friends that have the same ethics as you will encourage you to achieve your dreams. They help you to feel good about yourself. They are there to lend a helping hand when needed.
Yes those damn unhappy people damn them to hell, who cares about them, ignore their phone calls, be "wise", only spend time with happy people and people you can exploit for your own happiness. Those unhappy people should first of all learn to appreciate unanswered calls and messages and be happy before they can be chosen by you to be your friend.
3. Be Considerate
Accept others for who they are as well as where they are in life. Respect them for who they are. Touch them with a kind and generous spirit. Help when you are able, without trying to change the other person. Try to brighten the day of everyone you come into contact with.
Oh, ok, but how about choosing your friends, how can you choose your friends and at the same time accept people as they are? You must first judge them, who is worthy and who is not, and cut out some while embracing others, and then you can start to accept those you chose, well of.c. that will be easy since you chose people around you, provided of.c. that those people still want to be around such a judgmental bastard. But on the whole, sure, sound advice, just slight contradiction with 2.
Though there are also other contradictions, to accept other you have to learn no to give a damn about them, which then makes it difficult to help them. Respect is also a feeling, and again if you can just make your self feel things you can just make your self feel happy and cut all the crap in between. And respect is earned, if people act in such a way that they deserve no respect, non can be given. An if you are unhappy it can be difficult to brighten other peoples day. Anyway, moving on...
4. Learn Continuously
Keep up to date with the latest news regarding your career and hobbies. Try new and daring things that has sparked your interest – such as dancing, skiing, surfing or sky-diving.
That is actually good advice, interested people are interesting people, and there is no magic involved like making your self feel things on demand.
5. Creative Problem Solving
Don’t wallow in self-pity. As soon as you face a challenge get busy finding a solution. Don’t let the set backs affect your mood, instead see each new obstacle you face as an opportunity to make a positive change. Learn to trust your gut instincts – it’s almost always right.
For a change, instead of making your self feeling good things by magic, don't allow your self to feel bad things, by magic. Also learn to trust your gut instincts, which is commonly called gut feeling, and if your gut feeling tells you to lie on the couch with a bucket of ice cream in self pity, then you have a problem.
6. Do What They Love
Some statistics show that 80% of people dislike their jobs! No wonder there’s so many unhappy people running around. We spend a great deal of our life working. Choose a career that you enjoy – the extra money of a job you detest isn’t worth it. Make time to enjoy your hobbies and pursue special interests.
Sure if you have the ability to make something you enjoy more and still make ends meet it is great thing to do, which was surprising approach, it would be better if you could by magic make your self feel that you enjoy your job, and that way have money and the job you like.
7. Enjoy Life
Take the time to see the beauty around you. There’s more to life than work. Take time to smell the roses, watch a sunset or sunrise with a loved one, take a walk along the seashore, hike in the woods etc. Learn to live in the present moment and cherish it. Don’t live in the past or the future.
Oh, just go see comments of the first one, here is the magic again, enjoy life to be happy, well it's rather difficult to enjoy life when you are unhappy, that is what unhappy is. Though if one goes beyond the title the actually advices are reasonable, though learning to live in the present moment might be a life time task, and how is one to do that, study Zen? Actually not so bad idea, think nr. 7 is all right if one changes the title from meaningless "Enjoy Life" to "Study Zen".
8. Laugh
Don’t take yourself – or life to seriously. You can find humor in just about any situation. Laugh at yourself – no one’s perfect. When appropriate laugh and make light of the circumstances. (Naturally there are times that you should be serious as it would be improper to laugh.)
The difficult part is not to cry when you laugh at yourself.
9. Forgive
Holding a grudge will hurt no one but you. Forgive others for your own peace of mind. When you make a mistake – own up to it – learn from it – and FORGIVE yourself.
Once again, it is easy to say that you forgive, and there is whole other thing to truly forgive, to do that on demand you need big bag of magic, or you can pretend to be able to do all those things, and laugh to sleep every night.
10. Gratitude
Develop an attitude of gratitude. Count your blessings; All of them – even the things that seem trivial. Be grateful for your home, your work and most importantly your family and friends. Take the time to tell them that you are happy they are in your life.
A thought about how everything could be worse is a good motivation to be grateful for what you have, unless you want to use magic.
11. Invest in Relationships
Always make sure your loved ones know you love them even in times of conflict. Nurture and grow your relationships with your family and friends by making the time to spend with them. Don’t break your promises to them. Be supportive.
This is actually rather useful, as it is shown that relationships and social activities contribute to the long term happiness opposed to buying shit which you are unhappy with couple months later regardless of what it is.
12. Keep Their Word
Honesty is the best policy. Every action and decision you make should be based on honesty. Be honest with yourself and with your loved ones.
Be honest to your self, hence ignore everything said thus far except point 11 as every point 1 to 10 are only different ways to simulate the effects of happiness and trick your self to appear happy regardless of how you actually feel.
13. Meditate
Meditation gives your very active brain a rest. When it’s rested you will have more energy and function at a higher level. Types of meditation include yoga, hypnosis, relaxation tapes, affirmations, visualization or just sitting in complete silence. Find something you enjoy and make the time to practice daily.
I think Zen meditation would be suiting. It was a joke, but only partially as I think that meditation will make no sense without any background to it, and one would give up rather quickly. And by the way, the article is 21 Habits of Happy People, do all happy people meditate?
14. Mind Their Own Business
Concentrate on creating your life the way you want it. Take care of you and your family. Don’t get overly concerned with what other people are doing or saying. Don’t get caught up with gossip or name calling. Don’t judge. Everyone has a right to live their own life the way they want to – including you.
When it doesn't contradict any other point, the most important of which I thought was to invest in relationships which can be difficult when you don't give a damn about other people and always do whatever you want.
15. Optimism
See the glass as half full. Find the positive side of any given situation. It’s there – even though it may be hard to find. Know that everything happens for a reason, even though you may never know what the reason is. Steer clear of negative thoughts. If a negative thought creeps in – replace it with a positive thought.
Here come the magic again. Feeling that all is going to hell and it makes you unhappy? There is an easy fix, just feel the other way and you will be happy! But it is getting tiresome to write same thing over and over again every time there is a suggestion to feel the other way, so it this case I want to propose a view which might help to feel slightly more optimistic, though it is not invented by me, if ever anything was, anyway here it is:
Looking into human body one will find the intense struggle, of things, white blood cells killing things, bacteria, red blood cells always rushing around in a viscous circle, cells are multiplying and dying off, e.t.c. there is chaos, but looking at it on a more "zoomed out" / higher level all that struggle is something great, a human being capable of reason, laughter, invention, art e.t.c.
Well in the same way, even if you are in a struggle, on a higher level it is all part of something great.
16. Love Unconditionally
Accept others for who they are. You don’t put limitations on your love. Even though you may not always like the actions of your loved ones – you continue to love them.
Yes, not only must you be able to change your feelings toward things at will, but you must be able to love on demand as well, just use double portion of magic and it will be all right.
17. Persistence
Never give up. Face each new challenge with the attitude that it will bring you one step closer to your goal. You will never fail, as long as you never give up. Focus on what you want, learn the required skills, make a plan to succeed and take action. We are always happiest while pursuing something of value to us.
Just make sure first that whatever you are pursuing is not a carrot you will chaise your whole life, forgetting to live in the process.
18. Be Proactive
Accept what can not be changed. Happy people don’t waste energy on circumstances beyond their control. Accept your limitations as a human being. Determine how you can take control by creating the outcome you desire – rather than waiting to respond.
Well as children we think we can do anything, like touching the moon, or if we could get long enough ladder we would be able to climb to it. Our failures and knowledge makes us accept that there are certain things we can not do. Hence to accept that certain things can not be changed can be a painful process. Which is also a slippery road as some people have low self esteem and over estimate number of things which can't be changed and hence don't waste the energy. But otherwise it is rather good to get active instead of lying you your couch all day waiting for things to get better.
19. Self Care
Take care of your mind, body and health. Get regular medical check ups. Eat healthy and work out. Get plenty of rest. Drink lots of water. Exercise your mind by continually energizing it with interesting and exciting challenges.
This basically concludes the 17 and 19 as it is good to be active for happiness, and if one is too far gone it is better to start small, and there is a study somewhere showing that couple of hours of exercise is better than x amount of antidepressants pills, so this is then basically the starting point if you are unhappy, which can also be your carrot to work for.
I actually know many people doing this, always trying to get as healthy as possible, doing all kinds of different exercises, going do different meetings, eating health e.t.c. keeps them occupied, and gives some purpose to life, which might be profound as the goal of life is then life itself. Which can be a great realization, but also a pointless carrot in front of you which you chaise your whole life, suffering through 50 years of it, in order to extend it couple of more years.
20. Self Confidence
Don’t try to be someone that you’re not. After all no one likes a phony. Determine who you are in the inside – your own personal likes and dislikes. Be confident in who you are. Do the best you can and don’t second guess yourself.
Once again, easy to say be confident, but I am all out of magic at this point. Though there is one way to achieve that, and it is to spend more time with other people, friends, family, e.t.c.
21. Take Responsibility
Happy people know and understand that they are 100% responsible for their life. They take responsibility for their moods, attitude, thoughts, feelings, actions and words. They are the first to admit when they’ve made a mistake.
Begin today by taking responsibility for your happiness. Work on developing these habits as you own. The more you incorporate the above habits into your daily lifestyle – the happier you will be.
Most of all: BE TRUE TO YOURSELF.
Well then there is no advice on how to take responsibility, but I tell you where to start, next time you make a mistake and someone asks you about it, like "did you do that" or "who did that" don't start inventing ways to dodge, just say flat out, I did that if you did. Only children and people thinking like children avoid responsibility, and even if it said higher up to be more child like, it was not meant literally as 20+ year old child is just weird.
Yes take the responsibility for your happiness, just don't forget one thing which was not mentioned, sometimes you can run into bad luck and shit just happens to you, and it is very important to understand that such that one does not see external factors as personal failures and feel unhappy about them.
As the title of the article suggests things mentioned above are the things happy people do, majority of which they do because they are happy and not the other way around! Because if you are happy you don't need to do things to become happy, if you actively try to be happy this implies that you are currently unhappy, and hence the article would be called 21 things unhappy people do.
So you could of course do as the article suggest and to as many things as possible from this list of 21 things and "the happier" you will be.
But if you take the final words seriously "BE TRUE TO YOURSELF" you will of course understand that what you are doing is self deception whereby you try to produce cause by simulating the consequences, and what you are doing is dishonest primarily toward your self and all that time you are just pretending to be happy.
Though there is no way of denying that certain things above have the ability to make you happier such as investing in the relationships e.t.c.
Simply put see through what is the effect of happiness and what is the cause of happiness, and focus on the causes and don't waste your time on simulating the effect.
You know the point 18, don't waste your time on pointless things.
Being true to your self, you can never achieve cause by simulating the effect, hence don't waste your time on trying to be happy as it is utterly pointless, instead accept the futility of it, and go do something you enjoy or feel is meaningful instead of wasting your time on trying to be happy.
Now I will go make sushi, because I like sushi!
Not because happy people eat sushi!
Quote Source: 21 Habits of Happy People
