This is inspired by all the people I know that are "in the middle" they do anything to avoid conflict and always try to make everyone to like them, this is not about the reason they do behave that way, but about the consequence of that behavior.
Assuming that there is no thing without its opposite, as described in previous post, no cold without hot, no wet without dry e.t.c. then there is no love without hate, and that is what this is about.
Consider food for example, there is food you love and you eat it on special occasions when you want something special and tasty, and there is food you hate, that you will never eat, and there is food in between that you neither love nor hate but like in various degree and it is useful when you are hungry.
As food in the middle is useful when hungry, so are people that are in the middle useful to others when they are hungry emotionally. One can talk to a person that places him or her self in the middle when one is sad, because one knows that that person will never contradict or get into a serious argument with you, person in the middle want to stay there and don't want you to like him or her less, more likely that person will agree with you and do things for you in order to get you to like him or her more, making you feel better.
Hence people that are in the middle are neither loved nor hated by anyone, they are liked in various degrees, they are proud that no one hates them, and they say that they are loved by X if some X likes them more then Y.
People in the middle usually have many friends, friends that come to talk when they are lonely, play when they are bored, cry when they are sad, but those friends don't love, because there is nothing to hate.
To make another example, I have a friend that loves winter, the snow, the cold, and more snow and colder temperature it is the better, while another friend loves summer, and wishes to live somewhere where there is always summer. Hence the person that loves winter hates summer, because the summer has nothing of what he loves, only the heat that he can't stand. While the other friend of course hates winter because winter has nothing he loves and it is way too cold. Hence to make it clear, summer doesn't have those properties that winter lovers love about winter, and winter doesn't have the properties that summer lovers desire.
Lets say you love summer, then a person that is in the middle and tries to be liked by everyone is like spring(if you like that person) or like autumn(if you dislike that person) but that person will never be summer, because that person necessary must be to some degree also winter to be liked by other people that love winter, hence will never be loved by either.
Hence there is a choice when no choice is given.
Since we were children we learned what to do in order for other people to like us, and when we got older we learned what to do in order to attract opposite sex, there is an understanding that one has to do something to get love, but can one really do anything to get loved? Can you make someone to love you? As far as I know there is no way to make someone love you, one can increase the chances by being nice, dress nice, give presents, be good talker, but love has to happen of it self, and if it doesn't it doesn't matter what you do. Yet this is the only thing we learned since we were children, try to make people love you, even though it is impossible.
I am sure there are better explanations of why you can't make another person to love you, but one simple argument is that no matter how hard you try to acquire all those properties that another person loves there is always one property you can't acquire, and that is that you are that person, instead you try to become someone else in order for that person to love you, hence the best thing one can hope for is that the other person will love those properties you acquired, but those properties are not you, hence that person don't really love you but what you pretend to be for that person, and as long as you can keep it up it might work, and that is what many do. But when the relationship get more serious and one start to think that one can be more relaxed with each other and don't need to act all the time as it is the first date then people realize that who you have one year later is not the same person that you fell in love with, and it never was that person, it was all fake.
The alternative is of course much simpler, to get people to hate you!
First one has to be fully aware of who one is, for example many people do and believe certain things not because they feel conformable doing that or because they are that way, but because they want to fit in, they try to be "middle people" so that they are liked by others. So one should start by being fully aware of why one does and believes as one does, and work on the character until one can proudly state this is me and I do and believe this because of ...
And when that is done, you are proud of who you are and feel that you are comfortable with it and can argue for your ways, you can then just be your self, and never give up without a fight. And if some people hate you for that, other will love you for exactly that, and when that love comes, it will not matter if one, two or twenty years pas, because there is no act that will stop, you will always be you hence the person that fell in love with you will still love you, because it is still you.
This of course this doesn't mean that you should be stubborn and refuse to accept facts when you are proven wrong, you might, and hope that you will meet a person that loves unreasonably stubborn people, and perhaps you will, but it is just not healthy.
But if you can argue for your behavior and believes and no one can prove you wrong or give a good argument for you not to do so then that is the way to go. And there will be people that disagrees, and some people will disagree strongly, and some people will even hate you, and they should hate you, it only means that people that are opposite to them will love you.
The benefit is of course that your will not need to try and make people to love you, its like fishing, you just put out a net and some people will automatically love you while other swim by.
The risk is of course if you have many friends and hope to preserve relationship with everyone but some of which will start to dislike you, because you switched from very fine net that catches everything no matter if it taste good or bad to a net that only catches tasty fish.
I love spring.
